Hone these crucial content-editing skills: POV and Setting
When I edit a novel manuscript for a client, I am reading as a regular reader would, only I am hyperaware—on the lookout for a laundry list of issues. The following are two content problems that pop up quite often: Weak Point of View and Lack of Setting. They may seem basic to you, and you may assume you have them under control, but many writers are surprised to learn they actually don’t.
SKILL #1: POV
Point of View (POV) Basics: Who’s telling the story? Through what filter are you telling the story, and have you gone deep enough into the mind of the character in the telling? Also, will you use first person, second, or third?
First Person: The “I” tells the story. The “I” is the narrator and the protagonist. The reader sees the story from just one character’s perspective.
I step out the door. The cold air heightens my senses. With a shiver, I get into the car and press the ignition.
Second Person: The “you” tells the story. This is rarely used because it becomes tiring for the reader.
You step out the door. The cold air heightens your senses. With a shiver, you get into the car and press the ignition.
Third Person: Ever popular, many writers use third person limited point of view. This means the story is told from one character at a time in third person. The reader sticks close to this one character and is privy to what they are thinking and doing. The writer cannot head-hop into the minds of other characters when in third person limited. Multiple POV characters may be used to tell the story, but each scene will come from the mind of only one character. “He” “she” and “they” are used.
She steps out the door. The cold air heightens her senses. With a shiver, she gets into the car and presses the ignition.
Diving Into Point of View
Many writers don’t delve deeply enough into their POV character’s head. POV affects everything. I’ll say it again: POV affects everything.
You are telling the story from one person’s POV. That character will notice certain things, speak in a certain way, care about some things and not others—their personality will color the telling of the story every step of the way.
If two people are interacting in a scene, and basically the same things happen to both of them, the story told by Character A is not going to be the same story told by Character B. An old woman is not going to have the same perspective and experience as a six-year-old girl. The same story told from these two characters will differ greatly.
If you dive deep enough into a character’s POV, their telling of the story will be absolutely unique.How does the writer get deep into POV? It’s like acting. You have to become the character. If you’re using first person, you’ll use “I.” If you’re using third person, you’ll use “she” or “he.” It’s easier to get in close using first person, so if you’re using third person, it can help to write the scene/story initially in first person and later change it to third.
Show what the character is thinking. This doesn’t mean you have to use internal thoughts all the time, though the occasional internal thought is a good way for the reader to hear the way the character talks to herself.
What I mean by “show what the character is thinking” is just that: show it in the narrative. Show it in the words you use to describe the scene and other characters and everything the POV character thinks, feels, and does.
I dragged my feet as I neared Mary standing at the bus stop. She wore a pale pink sweater and the same jeans she’d bought on a shopping excursion with me three years ago, when we were freshman. Her hair hung like drapes to the sides of her face with a curtain of brown bangs overhead, reaching for her lashes. It was the same style she’d had since elementary school, and while Mary was my BFF and I loved her dearly, today it bothered me. It was our first day as seniors, and the gray in the sky reflected the dull, mind-numbing thrum in my soul. The sight of her boring outfit and elementary-school hair made me bite my lip. As I walked up beside her, I said to myself, There has to be more than this.
In this example, we learn a lot about the POV character. She’s a senior in high school. She’s bored. Every year it’s the same bus stop, the same friend with the same clothes and hair. Though she’s a senior, and she should probably be excited, she feels as gray as the rain clouds overhead. She longs for something more.
I have described the setting and the other character the way the POV character would, and in doing so, I have revealed a lot about the POV character herself. In this case, the POV character notices the old clothes and usual hair of her friend. If this part of the story were told by someone else, Mary’s teacher, for instance, she probably wouldn’t notice Mary’s clothes and hair, but she might describe Mary’s eager attitude or bright smile. In this way, readers learn about the setting and the other characters according to what the main character notices, thinks, and feels.
Here's the same paragraph in third person:
Kayla dragged her feet as she approached the bus stop where Mary stood. Mary wore a pale pink sweater and the same jeans she’d bought on a shopping excursion with Kayla three years prior, when they became freshman. Her hair hung like drapes to the sides of her face with a curtain of brown bangs overhead, reaching for her lashes. It was the same style she’d had since elementary school, and today Kayla struggled to restrain an eye roll at the sight of it. It was their first day as seniors, and the gray in the sky reflected the dullness in Kayla’s soul. As she walked up beside her friend, she said to herself, There has to be more than this.
SKILL #2 SETTING
The second crucial content-editing skill I want to address has to do with setting. As the writer, you always know where the characters are so it’s easy to forget to let the readers know. The characters don’t exist in a void, so be sure to describe their surroundings.
Setting the Scene Basics: Near the start of each scene you write, you must let the readers know where they are and who they’re with and what important objects are in that general space.
Often when I edit a manuscript, I’ll find myself thinking, “Where are we again?” “What do these characters look like again?” “Where did that sword come from?”
When this happens, I know the writer hasn’t done their job setting the scene.
How Much Is Enough?
I am not an advocate of an abundance of setting and detail. I believe that the right details can paint a picture in just a few words, and that’s how I like it. That said, you need as much as you feel you need. Some writers and readers love an abundance of detail (J. R. R. Tolkien, anyone?). That’s not me, but then again, if I can’t remember where we are or see who’s there or what’s important, then I’m not a happy reader.
At the start of a scene, readers need to know at least some answers to the five Ws: who, what, where, when, and why. When and why can usually be filled in later. Readers need enough to get by. Enough that they don’t scratch her head and get annoyed and say, “What the heck is going on?” Because if they say that, they may also say, “To heck with this. I can’t figure it out.”
Before you start writing the scene, get in the right mindset. You are a character in a place. First, consider “who” you are—probably the protagonist. Get into that headspace, whether male, female, nonbinary, young, old, middle-aged, good, evil, beautiful, ugly, and whatever else you need to consider when getting into their head.
Next consider where you are. In what place does your character appear? If she’s an alien, she might be in a spaceship parked on Jupiter. If he’s a child, he might be riding his bicycle in the driveway. Give us some clues that point to where this part of the story is happening. As the action moves forward, weave in details about the place so the reader can imagine the character moving about in that world.
FLESH OUT THE STORY
A deep POV and artful setting of the scene help create a full and visual story for your readers. When you are deep in the character’s head, you can provide all sorts of detail. You can tell us what other characters look like and how they do things, what their surroundings are like, and anything else that they’re seeing, hearing, smelling, sensing.
For instance, of course you can have the character observe physical attributes like hair color, eye color, body size and shape, clothing … but also how others walk, whether they’re clumsy or graceful, what kind of attitude they put out there, whether they move quickly or slowly. All of these details help to flesh out the characters in your story.
And remember: because you’re inside your main character’s head, their observations will be skewed by their opinions. When he sees someone feeding the squirrels, for instance, he might regard it as an act of kindness or he might assume it’s a person trying to appear kind. When he sees a homeless person, he might think what a lazy person that is, or he might have empathy and assume that the person tried very hard but life threw them a curveball they couldn’t recover from. Every observance will be affected by his personality. In this way, the reader will get to know the character as deeply as you know him.
Go into your current work-in-progress and read the narrative. Have you taken the reader deep into your main character’s POV? In each scene, have you given them what they need to know about setting? POV and setting go hand in hand in creating a world the reader can visualize. Be sure to provide the details that will help you write an unforgettable story.
Kim Catanzarite is the author of the award-winning Jovian Duology, a sci-fi thriller. She is a freelance writer and editor for publishers and independent authors and teaches copyediting for Writer’s Digest University. She lives on the east coast USA with her husband and daughter.
