The Big Decision

How did it happen? How did I go from being dead set against self-publishing to completely excited about the prospect of self-publishing? It was not a quick turn-around, I’ll tell you that much. I’ve been writing with the intention of publishing since I was about twenty-one years old (yes, decades ago). I’d taken several writing workshops and was fully entrenched in the writing world. My college writer friends and I said that we’d give ourselves a year to “become discovered” and if it didn’t happen by then, we’d get a job. Today, that just makes me laugh.

I’ve written several novels over a span of about thirty years, but I only had an agent for one of them. You’re probably wondering how that can be possible. How can you keep writing when you don’t get published? The answer is, plain and simple, I love to write. I can’t not write. Writing brings me great joy, so why would I quit?

Truth is, a few times over the years, I told friends I was thinking about quitting. One very smart friend responded this way: “You said that you love to write. Why would you quit something you love to do?”

All I could say to that was, “Good answer.”

For my first novel, I worked with an agent on the book for almost a year, and then she sent it around to the editors. Some of them didn’t like the first half of the book; others didn’t like the second. None of them wanted it. It was my debut, so instead of going back and continuing to revise, we decided I’d start something new. By then I’d given myself until the age of thirty to get a book published. I was twenty-eight so I quickly wrote my second book. Very quickly. And sloppily, I should add. The first book had taken three years to write, and I wrote the second one in less than a year. I wanted to hurry up and make this thing happen.

That was a big mistake.

The book was terrible. My agent said it seemed like someone else had written it. At first I’d thought she meant it as a compliment. But no. Not at all. She did not try to sell it. And we did not work together as writer and agent for much longer.

In the years to come, I would work for many publishers, start my own freelance business, write for newspapers and magazines, attend writing conferences, adopt a child, edit hundreds of books for other people, own and run a toy store (just to keep things interesting) … and continue writing my own novels. Meanwhile, the publishing industry became even more competitive, and I couldn’t seem to get an agent’s attention no matter how many times I revised and refined my query letter.

In 2019, I finally finished a novel I can be proud of. So, that year, I went at the agent search wholeheartedly. I’d been writing query letters left and right and researching agencies and rewriting synopses, spending so much time doing all of these things, when it dawned on me: I could have published and marketed the book on my own in the time it was taking to do all of this. Even if an agent agreed to work with me and then a traditional publisher purchased my book, I’d have to build my readership mostly by myself. So why was I spending all of this time only to be ignored? I realized that instead of treading water, I could be moving forward.

So there you have it. The decision was made.

And it only took me three decades to get here.

Please join me on my self-publishing journey as I share what I learn via this blog. To subscribe, fill out the pop-up or send me your email address using the Contacts page.

Kim Catanzarite is a writer, editor, and instructor for Writer’s Digest University. She has worked as a developmental and copy editor since 1994. Her book They Will Be Coming for Us will be published June 2021.